Starting A New

“The only real battle in life is between hanging on and letting go.”- Shannon L. Alder, how many times have you experienced being in an inconvenient situation, where you find yourself stuck between deciding if you should let go or hold on? Unfortunately, many of us will spend a lot of time hanging on to memories, time , and history, not realizing that sometimes that is just what it is a part of the history of our journey. Whether we want it or like it change is inevitable , pain is a part of the process, and the lessons helps us to evolve into the person we need to be in order to soar to new heights. Each day there is a gift of newness that we receive but very few of us take advantage of it, we imprison ourselves to the yesterdays delays and challenges. The reality is  by not giving ourselves permission to let go we limit our ability to experience new blessings that a new day has to offer , we are often drained as the morning breaks by the negative thoughts and emotions we are harboring. It is important that as we grow and experience life that we transition from operating from a space of lacking , and survival , to a space where we are whole , content , and thriving.

“All great beginnings start in the dark, when the moon greets you to a new day at midnight.”

”

— Shannon L. Alder

Many have tricked themselves into believing that life is unfair, but the truth is life dishes its fair share to everyone according to what is destined for them. Each experience comes with great purpose the problem is we waste too much time believing that the  odds are only against us, and you begin to tell yourself that life is happening to you and not for you. While we are  experiencing different seasons of challenges the truth is there is someone with a dark cloud that hangs lower, and the rain is pouring in their life compared to the scatter showers in your  forecast. “It could always be worse.” Is a powerful statement that can often be taken out of context, acknowledging the fact that  it could always be worse, does not mean your feelings are not valid. Instead, what it means is that we still have a lot to be hopeful and grateful for. At the age of thirty I have finally grown to accept that life is like a revolving door of change, we gain , we lose , we grieve , we heal ,  we learn, we evolve, and we go through this cycle over and over until we die. I am also  learning to accept that the desires of my heart and the visions of mind may not always be what is best for me or what I need so I must trust God to always intervene. The  primary reason many of us become stagnant in life is simply because we fail to be obedient to God’s commands. We ask and we pray for miracles but when those prayers are being answered we are busy holding on to past trauma, people , place, or things that simply are not meant to go with us which limits our ability to see our prayers being answered.

As I reflect on my life and all the experiences, I have had there has been one reoccurring theme,  as I was approaching a new season of elevation everything that did not serve  me needed to fall apart for things to fall into place. Whether it was friendships, relationships personal or professional, if they were not meant to go with me, I would see them just fade away. In the moment it hurts , naturally I have questions , and depending on the situation or the person I attempt to find a way to hold on. I have learned that in order to take flight you must pack light too much baggage can delay your flight and postpone your landing to where you are supposed to be. I encourage you to always remember  that new solves all , when  things are not flowing like they used to , when there is no room for elevation is it time to do something new. Settling in sinking sand can only result In one drowning In regrets from missed opportunities that passed you by because you were too afraid to step into a new  space and take on a new perspective. I see life from a perspective of hope and purpose , I open my mind and heart for the door that opens , and I keep my mind and heart open even after that door closes making room for a new door to open. Do no not be a hoarder of trauma and your bad experiences, grow through the experiences, learn from them , accept them for what they were , and be brave enough to move on freely. Choosing to be a victim is easy  it is a safety net for many, but it is also a limiting sad state to live in. The world is not out to get you are just one of many on a journey  experiencing life in different seasons.

"The Hardships"

“When hardships come into your life it breaks you for a while, but when it is done  you evolve into a new person.” The beauty and irony of this statement is that while it is a fact the reality is when we are going through our difficult seasons it is almost impossible to see the light. The good news is having faith has little to do with our ability to see, but it has everything to do with our ability to keep going even when we are uncertain. The decision is ours to choose whether we allow our challenges in life to break us or if we allow the pain we endure to have a purpose. It is easy to quit, it is easy to feel sorry for ourselves, and it is quite easy to pick ourselves apart mentally and emotionally, but staying strong and fighting can be the most difficult decision to make but it will be the most beneficial choice to make in every season.

Every new challenge is simply an introduction to new opportunities and lessons we didn’t plan for or anticipate. It is important to always be mindful of the fact that being resistant to change will only block our blessings and rob us of the opportunity to grow from our experiences. I always find great irony in the fact that although we all understand that no day is a guarantee for any of us, we tend to operate carelessly with our time. We spend more time than we invest it; we fill our days with quantity instead of quality, we give energy and focus to all the wrong things and make excuses why there is no room for the things that serve us best. Losing my grandmother this year so far has been one of my greatest challenges, but each day I am learning to open my mind to receive the many lessons that are available to me. One of the major lessons I have learned is how important it is to live your life on your terms and to not live for validation from others. Another important fact I was reminded of in this season of grief is that you do not need a lot to be a blessing to others. I listened to the kind words of my grandmother’s closets friends and the one thing that stood out to me the most was that she was a giver, and she gave with a full heart. It never mattered that she wasn’t a rich woman, but her heart and her intentions were rich. The most valuable reminder of them all is that our life can change in the blink of an eye sometimes for better and other times for the unexpected but either way, we must allow ourselves to accept what is.

In this season of grief and change, I want to encourage everyone as I am reminding myself daily to remember how precious time is. Being  present to the value of time keeps us on track to be intentional and mindful of how we are utilizing that time and the quality of life we are choosing to live. Life is meant to be experienced live and in living color, you must live on purpose in purpose and do not be afraid to laugh to cure the aching hearts. We are only here for a little while and in that short time we all have a purpose to fulfill, remember it is not about the length of time we have that matters, it is about the quality of life we choose to live with the time we have. You would be amazed just how much we can achieve when we master the art of growing through life. Be not limited by the pain you feel it is temporary, the wounds will always be there but it is the scars that remind us of how strong we are and the only thing standing in our lane of victory is the decisions we choose to make or the ones we allow fear to rob us of. As time passes by remember to enjoy the simple things, stress not for even the darkest clouds will see sunshine again. “ Let your hearts be filled with gratitude for all things.”

“A Storm Does Not Stop A Ship From Sailing , A Good Sailor Knows How To Ride The Wave. ”

— Unapologetic Happiness

Unapologetically Serving Me !

“When You Are Saying “Yes” To Others’s Make Sure You Are Not Saying “No” To You.”

The act of being in service is one that we all know very well; the problem with being in service is that many of us struggle with creating boundaries. They help us to not only be available for others but to effectively serve ourselves. The key to self preservation is to do all things with moderation, with a clear understanding that it is not only beneficial to us as people but to our health and well being. It is important to master the art of being relatable but not always accessible to everyone. Life has it's fair share of obstacles in a day for each one of us and although we all may not be having the same level of severity in our daily experiences ,the reality is we all have our own share of challenges. We must understand that we can only be as good to others as we are to ourselves , which simply means that we cannot effectively show up for others until we know how to take care of us properly and unapologetically. The idea of saying no or disappointing our friends and loved ones that depend on us and expect us to show up for them is a real struggle and fear. The truth is when we operate in fear we are doing more of a disservice to ourselves and the people we love , honesty is the best policy and key to developing and mentaining healthy communication and relationships. Lies breaks trust and creates unnecessary confusion and tension that can easily be prevented.

To be in service can be described as doing something kind or loving to a friend , family , spouse, strangers in need, and most importantly to self. In order to perform these acts the intention has to be pure to make sure that we have the right attitude and energy. Saying no or communicating how you truly feel respectfully may not always be liked or accepted but it is our choice to be honest despite our fears or worry that they will be able to appreciate and respect most. Being inauthentic in service can lead to creating a space built on a lack of trust. As a result giving the very people we desire to be in service to reasons to create stories about you based on your actions. Why do we struggle with serving authentically? Because we spend a lot of time serving externally and neglecting to serve our very intimate needs , mentally , physically ,emotionally and spiritually. Serving our self fully should be a choice daily or even better a way of life , before making decisions and accepting task we must check in with ourselves to be aware of what space we are in , do we truly want to do it , and can we afford to? Being disconnected from our true selves and needs limits our ability to be aware and make choices that are adding more than it is taking away from us. Even in doing the right thing we must always be mindful to create boundaries and a space that promotes self-love , healing , and an opportunity to recharge. The goal in life is not to be liked , or accepted by everyone , it is to be loved and respected for being true to yourself , having integrity , and honesty.

The need to be accepted or to be liked by everyone is a recipe for self destruction , life is a give and take we must know when it is time to be on the giving end and when it is time to be on the receiving end. Peace is what we all desire to have present and having peace is one that we are all deserving of . We must know that to have peace present in your life is a choice, which comes with making conscious choices to serve our highest self our true self and not our fears or insecurities. Be relentless in your pursuit of happiness , be deliberate about taking care of you first before serving others.

Gracefully Evolving

In today’s society everything appears to be moving at an high intense speed , from the time in the day , days of the week , months , the year , and lastly people. It is safe to safe that there are many people who have mastered the art of living life on a fast past pace , expecting quick and instant results. Rushing the process robs us of the opportunity to trust the process and enjoy the journey we are on. The reality that we must all be present to is that while everyone is excited to share their success , not everyone is brave enough to share their short comings and failures along the way. I n fact many are afraid of what people will think if if they knew the struggle, the truth is sharing our experiences with the world has much more benefits to others than it does harm to the person that had the experience. Being free and selfless to share the how and what it takes to achieve true success in ones life has the power to inspire and change life’s . The finish product of hard work and labor are always celebrated and talked about but it is in knowing the back story that will make a difference. Why? Most people are quick to cancel themselves out of true success and happiness based on their back ground , past experiences , and even the history or generational patterns. The stories they create behind these reasons tells one that they have limited options in their life , they believe they are undeserving of more.

““ Just Living Is Not Enough; Said The Butterfly, One Must Have Sunshine, Freedom , And A little Flower. -Hans Christians Anderson.”

Do you believe your current circumstances or past experiences determine your future? I do not believe this Is true I believe that our circumstances has great power that can inspire and motivate us to work for what we want and deserve and push us to break bad cycles. The reality is your circumstances are just that an unfortunate moment in your life that does last for ever and in fact they are only as powerful as we allow it to be. One of the most common reasons why many have dreams backed with no action is because they have allowed themselves to settle with good reasoning that they cannot afford the dream, always seeing the cup as half empty instead of it being half full. Some of the most successful people in the world believe it or not they too have a beginning a past , and circumstances that they too could have used as good reasons to settle and never choose to obtain success or accomplish their goals. Instead they not were willing to risk living a life that is unfulfilling to live a life that brings them fulfillment. ANYTHING that keeps us away from accomplishing goals is an excuse, it is your life’s mission to find out what your purpose is and by any means necessary work to living in purpose and sharing your magic with the world.

Each day that you are blessed with the gift of life It is your duty to make it a priority to rise each day determined to be better than the day before , to rise above your circumstances , and make each day count for something. We are as successful as the quality of our thoughts and our actions , be mindful of your thoughts , your words , and your attitude . Life is happening daily and we have to trust that it is happening for us , God does all things according to His will and His will for us is perfect , there is either a lesson to be learned , or a blessing to be received. Life can be fun , simple , and magical if we dare to be bold enough to not only dream of it but to choose it daily. Do more of what makes you happy, take risks , fear never getting started more than you fear the idea of failing. Failure is a limiting story that we tell ourselves when in reality just because you do not master a goal on the first and maybe even second , third, or fourth , failure is when we are easily broken or defeated by our attempts to accomplish our goals. “ I am going out into today confident and free to think positively , love and embrace all areas of my life , to fully embrace and set my intentions on learning from every experience, I am giving myself room to mess up and grace to know that I can try until I succeed.”

Season Of Faith

Life is the most beautiful but yet very mysterious gift that we all are blessed to receive daily. The truth is there are many people that have and will continue to spend their life living in fear of the unknown . Losing sight of the fact that every moment of of life is filled with uncertainty we can only hope for things to happen the way we desire or have planned it , and have an open mind to things not happening the way we expected. We must allow faith to guide to us in everything we do, we know that each day of our life has already been written and it is important that we trust that what God wills for us is perfect. The real struggle for many of us is we lack faith and patience , many of us are seeking instant gratification and quick results. All things happen in due time and season, all things we hope for can only manifest according to God’s timeline. The journey of life and discovering our purpose is not always an easy road and it is not always a straight path , there will be detours , road blocks , and even the possibility of needing to take a whole new route. The key to thriving through these seasons of our life is to trust God and believe with our whole heart that as long as we continue to seek Him for direction that he will always guide us to the right path.

Walking in faith is something that we all should do but the challenge we face is that we are all operating from a space of fear , needing to be in control or certain about the outcome of every experience in our life. The reality is only God Is all knowing , so needing to know it all or desiring to have control limits our ability to focus and trust the process. Trusting the process requires for one to remain calm and hopeful even when we cannot seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Our purpose is a gift from God which is ironically not given to us but one that we must grow into, and discover what it is. The first step is having to unlearn some if not all of the limits that we have been taught, becoming brave enough to step outside of what we have always known to explore the unknown. In life it is not what we know that hurts us it is the things we do not know and are not open to learning that will . Lastly having an open mind to learn and try new things takes us closer to discovering our true nature and purpose in life. As a child is free , curious , and consistent in their pursuit to discover the things that are unfamiliar to them , they do not see danger or challenge so should we be and it is who we all once were. The unknown excites them and they are eager and excited to discover what it is , can you imagine how different our lives would be if we approached ever situation the way our children approached life? Without the proper knowledge or insight of what it means to walk in faith they exercise it daily.

In closing my question today is what are you afraid to lose? Living in fear and without purpose only robs us of the life that we were created to live. It is time to be free from fear , being free from fear does not mean that we will not feel fear it simply means that we able to feel fear without being paralyzed. The life we desire to live and were created to live has absolutely nothing to do with our parents our friends, family members , it has everything to do with us. True success and being fulfilled in life comes when we are brave enough to be unapologetic about what we feel, what we love , and what excites us daily. Everyone will not always agree , understand , or support the choices you make , the beauty is the only opinion that is valid over our life comes from God. Invest more time understanding who you are, what makes you happy , and growing a healthy and strong faithful relationship with God , as walking in faith is the greatest map we can follow to truly living our best life unapologetically.

“Waiting Is Always The Season To Listen And Learn. God Has Some Things To Teach You Before He answers Your Prayers. ”